Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Happy Birthday Edgar
Today is Edgar Allen Poe's birthday! He would have been 202 years old (I think). I have always enjoyed Mr. Poe's writing. He once said "I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity". I have always liked this quote for some reason. I don't find anything humorous with it, I just like it. Oh well, happy birthday Edgar.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
My Solution to The Awkward Moment in the Hall
In my last post I spoke about the dance of death in the hallway. This post is about my solution to that problem, turning signals. When walking towards someone use your eyes as turning signals and wink with your left or right eye to declare which way you will go. I believe people in this situation should always go to their right. That way there isn't a chance of you both blinking to go in the same direction.
Friday, January 14, 2011
That Awkward Moment in the Hall
Have you ever been walking down the hall and notice someone walking towards you? Trying to avoid running into each other you both go to sidestep and continue walking. There are three outcomes to this little "hallway dance".
1. After years of experience and training with voodoo warlords, and with the help of local good luck charms, you are one of the .0000001 percent that get the easy way out and successfully sidestep the other murderous monster that is trying to make you feel awkward, you win (this time).
2. This is what most people experience, including me. You see the storm approaching so you sidestep only to realize that the storm has followed you and is increasing speed. At this point most people feel extreme nausea and feel the need to vomit out of sheer horror and awkwardness. You act like you are going left, then right, but no matter what you do to confuse your opponent, they follow. Finally you have to hit the brakes and dance the dance of the hall. After minutes of rigorous dancing you finally prevail neither a loser nor a winner, but a warrior none the less.
3. This last outcome has been heavily disputed by scientists as not being real. I, however, believe it does exist because I have been a part of it. Doctors said it was a crazy dream or hallucination, but I know better. You are walking down the hall when out of nowhere three hundred Spartans burst out of the closest wall and stand in formation in front of you. You ask "what kind of madness is this?” Their leader responds by sending ten of his best men at you with their weapons drawn, yelling at the top of their lungs. You try to dodge but there are just too many of them. They overwhelm you and take you as their prisoner for seven years using you as a lamp. At the end of your seven year period you awaken in your bed at home.
So the moral of this story is: trust random voodoo strangers you meet on the street, avoid rainstorms in the hallway, and in case of Spartans do not break the glass, play dead (they don't take dead prisoners).
***NOTE: STORIES MAY HAVE BEEN EXAGERATED FOR EFFECT***
1. After years of experience and training with voodoo warlords, and with the help of local good luck charms, you are one of the .0000001 percent that get the easy way out and successfully sidestep the other murderous monster that is trying to make you feel awkward, you win (this time).
2. This is what most people experience, including me. You see the storm approaching so you sidestep only to realize that the storm has followed you and is increasing speed. At this point most people feel extreme nausea and feel the need to vomit out of sheer horror and awkwardness. You act like you are going left, then right, but no matter what you do to confuse your opponent, they follow. Finally you have to hit the brakes and dance the dance of the hall. After minutes of rigorous dancing you finally prevail neither a loser nor a winner, but a warrior none the less.
3. This last outcome has been heavily disputed by scientists as not being real. I, however, believe it does exist because I have been a part of it. Doctors said it was a crazy dream or hallucination, but I know better. You are walking down the hall when out of nowhere three hundred Spartans burst out of the closest wall and stand in formation in front of you. You ask "what kind of madness is this?” Their leader responds by sending ten of his best men at you with their weapons drawn, yelling at the top of their lungs. You try to dodge but there are just too many of them. They overwhelm you and take you as their prisoner for seven years using you as a lamp. At the end of your seven year period you awaken in your bed at home.
So the moral of this story is: trust random voodoo strangers you meet on the street, avoid rainstorms in the hallway, and in case of Spartans do not break the glass, play dead (they don't take dead prisoners).
***NOTE: STORIES MAY HAVE BEEN EXAGERATED FOR EFFECT***
Monday, January 10, 2011
First Post
My hopes are to make this blog about my personal thoughts and opinions because I honestly don't know what else to talk about. I am horrible at talking by myself, I find it difficult to speak without anyone there to retort.
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